Make it Special

How do we get people to care about something they don’t yet know they care about?

I think that is the work most of us are doing whether as parents, artists, curators, authors, climate activists, bus drivers (you need to sit down), dog walkers.

We all see things in ways that others don’t see them and we all want people to care about what we care about.

You might argue that some of the things people care about they shouldn’t care about. I am thinking of millionaires who want to become billionaires. What is the point of having more money than you’ll ever be able to spend in your lifetime? Shouldn’t they be caring about something different? 

But that is my point. We all care about different things and yet we care so much we want others to care about our object of care, too. And what might be obvious to one individual might not be obvious to another.

Cultural Differences

Yesterday morning I heard the neighbor’s vacuum before 8 am. That reminded me of several lessons I learned while living in my first shared apartment in Germany. In Berlin, a city that is known for its clubs, legal drinking in public and other freedoms, there are many rules. In my flat vacuuming was only allowed during certain hours of the day. On Sunday afternoons, no one could recycle glass bottles by throwing them into the bins in the courtyard.

By now I have experienced enough cultural differences that I was not upset.

This was not the case when I lived in Japan, my first time living out of the US. Being a college student I rarely ate out but at one restaurant I must have looked like an angry American. In Japan I became a vegetarian so in typical American fashion, where the customer is always right and we can make just about any substitution or change at any restaurant we visit, I asked the waiter for an order of tempura, minus the shrimp. He said it was impossible to bring the dish without the shrimp. Mind you, these are individually breaded and fried so they are very easy not to put on the plate with the assorted and individually breaded and fried vegetables. The logic was beyond me – why couldn’t they charge me the same price, save the shrimp, and save themselves money? Why did I have to have a shrimp on my plate that I wouldn’t eat?!?

We don’t get to a place of knowing through knowing. We get to a place of knowing through not knowing. 

So in my flat in Berlin I became curious enough to ask why these rules existed and was told that the noise of vacuuming or throwing glass bottles in a bin could disturb people who might be resting.

Rather than thinking that they should get earplugs (as some might think) I thought, oh, that’s interesting. That’s special to be so thoughtful of others.

That made me think, to get people to care you have to share the reason you care. If your reason resonates with the person you are speaking with you have a better chance of finding common ground. 

Make it Special

This month I’ve been writing my book on the WeStory. For the past few weeks I’ve written about the 10 ways to illustrate the ‘why’ behind your ideas–from personal stories to evidence to metaphors. The purpose of the WeStory is to find common ground. It is a move from binary, us vs them stories to inclusive storytelling.

If our aim is to foster mutual understanding, then can we reframe ‘making an argument’ as sharing ideas? And when we share our ideas can we share why we care and what is special about our point of view so others see what is special, too? 

In a way, each scene in a story whether that be fiction or non-fiction, is a gift. It exists to move the story forward and to share a new concept or idea and helps us see how a problem can change into a set of possibilities.

It is pleasant to think, how can I illustrate this so my audience feels a spark of recognition. It gives the author agency and brings the reader to a place of curiosity. 

Thought Experiment

When you are creating, what you think about enters into the work.

If you are frustrated, which for me has the birthplace of many of my ideas as well as many innovations throughout history, it is good to find a way to move from the spark of frustration into a space of curiosity.

The next time you feel stuck or frustrated, try this experiment. Ask yourself, why is this important to me and how can I make what is special about this shine? How can I bring curiosity to this issue?

Curiosity is a muscle we have to practice. When we are curious we are open to new ideas, experiences and ways of doing things. Find the questions that will help you become more curious.