The Power of Experiences
It is Wednesday in Berlin and I just returned from recording a sound installation in the rain. The Google coordinates were off by 82 meters on the map but when I got to the park my guess of where to go was off by about 260 meters. I wondered around, thinking I must be getting closer. My search area widened and yet still I couldn’t find the manhole where audio should be rising up from like a mist of sounds coming from some mysterious place below the earth, I imagined.
I wondered if maybe the rain was drowning out the sound.
After giving up I finally heard metallic sounds and found the manhole which managed to blended in with the surroundings, the bricks it was part of being the color of earth in the middle of a patch of grass in a patch of land where much of the grass has been worn thin.
Finding a point of connection
Sometimes looking for the right way to connect with our audience feels like this. We sense what we are looking for and somehow we miss it. Finally, after trying this and that approach we find what we are looking for.
In the last two blog posts I shared two approaches to finding common ground that are problematic because it is difficult to land at the same place. These include trying to connect based on concepts or facts. Both of those approaches are tricky because neither concepts and facts have one specific meaning. Depending on your point of view you can place different meanings on the words, ideas and facts shared.
Sharing experiences
Sharing experiences is a concrete and meaningful way to connect.
I didn’t think many people would share the experience of searching for a manhole in the rain. And yet, I shared this story because most of us can relate to looking for something, even when we have a good idea of where to find it, and not being able to find it.
An experience is specific and personal. It humanizes the storyteller for the audience in a way other types of storytelling like myths or allegories do not. When sharing your experience you are both establishing rapport and common ground. From there you can invite your audience in to learn more.
Experiences reveal your why
In general, your personal experiences reveal how you are connected with the material you are sharing, the ideas, solutions, suggestions you are making. The audience comes to learn why this is important to you or what inspired the ideas you are sharing. Experiences also give you a chance to connect on an emotional level when you are open and share the feelings behind an event.
About half of the top 25 TED Talks employ this technique, starting their talk by sharing a personal experience. Maybe you’ve heard Brené Brown’s talk, The Power of Vulnerability. She began her talk by telling a story of how an event planner tried to find a way to describe her work. The event planner said ‘researcher’ was too boring and suggested maybe she’d call her a storyteller. As someone who identified as an academic Brené thought maybe she should just call her ‘magic pixie.’ In the end though research-storyteller might describe her well. The point of her story was to share how she expanded her perception and it wasn’t easy, it was one of those moments of unexpected vulnerability that changes our way of thinking.
Experiences are non-confrontational
This is one approach for non-confrontational storytelling – storytelling based on sharing a way of understanding, inviting people to see things differently.
Experiences are personal and specific to each individual. As an audience we naturally step in to the story, imagining what it feels like to be in a similar situation. We’ve been listening to other people’s stories for thousands of years, taking in new ideas and new possibilities through imagining in our mind going through the situation told in story form. This is how we learn.
Experiences communicate connection
Sharing experiences is a powerful way of connecting. And as a way of connecting, it is something I try to do in every communication I have, whether it is sending out a press release or grant proposal, sending out an interview request for my podcast, or creating social media posts and sales pages. I try to think about what I can share that will illustrate I care about this topic, why I feel it is important while being aware of what my audience values and is concerned about at this moment in their journey.
At one point being professional meant depersonalizing everything, which often led to talking in jargon and generalizations. But we don’t connect to generalizations
In the final piece of this four part series I’ll share another powerful way of connecting – questions.
Previous Posts in this Series:
The Challenge Connecting with Concepts
The Challenge Connecting with Facts
How to Connect with Questions