You Don't Need Permission to Follow Your Dreams
You don't need permission to follow your dreams.
While you may know this, after all, you are a grown human, if you are like many of the humans I’ve been talking to who have big ideas, you may be unknowingly looking to others for permission to follow your dreams.
One indication of this search for permission is your research habits.
ARE YOU RESEARCHING YOURSELF INTO INACTION?
Have you been signing up for courses, reading all the blogs, listening to podcasts, downloading eBooks all at a frantic pace? Can you quote the top thinkers on the subjects of your idea as well as top influencers on overcoming procrastination and the importance of planning? Has this been going on for months, even years?
If so, you may be falling into the trap of giving over your power to others without even knowing you are doing this.
I know. There is comfort in doing research. I myself love to do research.
And I have to say I’m lucky because research is part of my artistic process. I interview people as a way of creating my documentary work.
Still, at some stage, I have to make decisions. I have to edit my research together and make a statement. Because documentary work is about creating a story that makes sense of what you find. It is about telling a story and making meaning from what one observes. It is about putting a frame around one’s findings and sharing an idea of how one sees the world.
And telling people about how you see the world is a vulnerable act.
Likewise, taking the risk of turning your idea into a reality, going through the starts and false starts, and restarts, that is risky.
It is safer to sit back, read, analyze and dream. It is safer to research.
You can research until you get the message that your idea is ready, but I’m sorry, that message will not come from books or magazine articles or informational interviews.
Most friends and family will tell you that you can’t do it. Much of their advice comes from their own fear.
IN THE END, YOU HAVE TO LOOK TO YOURSELF
Do you want this? Why do you want this? What is motivating you? What would happen in five, ten, twenty years if you don’t do this? Do you have the resources for this to work? Do you have the resources in place if this does not work?
I see too many people using research as a way to rationalize away action.
More of us need to take a cue from innovative learning companies (think of the early, pre-VC fueled Silicon Valley start-ups and social enterprises like Patagonia).
Those companies learned and continue to learn by doing.
Think back on your last week, month, or year. What concrete action have you taken to move your idea forward? Have you contacted the person, pitched the idea, written the copy, asked for the sale, built the partnership?
Are you using research to fuel your action? Or are you researching yourself out of action?
In short, are you seeking permission to get started? Are you just getting started, or are you stuck?
If you are stuck, it is necessary to look at what is going on in your mind.
WHAT STORY ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF?
Stepping into your dream means stepping off the path.
You are stepping off of the path of what others are doing, even those who have written their own book. It means claiming your own ideas and writing your own story.
And many times, those steps are not comfortable, no matter how accomplished you are.
Take, for example, Hollywood screenwriters, not just those aspiring writers but those that are getting paid, whose films premiere in film festivals and on giant screens.
In an interview with Film Courage on YouTube, author and Professor and Screenwriting Chairman at UCLA shared this the process of writing.
“Among screenwriters, what a lot of new writers don’t get is that the frustration that they’re experiencing, it never goes away. That’s the way it operates at the highest levels for the most successful practitioners… It ain’t easy for anybody.”
From, It’s All About Story and Nothing Else – UCLA Professor Richard Walter
And later in that same interview [view here]
“[Steven] Pressfield would put it this way, only an amateur would say that she or he can’t wait to get into the re-write, is delighted contemplating getting up in the morning and working on that script. The contrary is the case….”
Referenced from his book, Essentials of Screenwriting, The Art, Craft and Business of Film and Television Writing:
“Real writers hate to write. Serious writers don’t like to write. We love having written. But actually writing is always painful. Is it good enough? Do I dare show this to anybody? How can I expect people to exchange for this, give me money so I can put orthodontics on my children’s teeth and so on?.... We all want to put it off, delay it, defer it. It’s that way for everybody.”
DEFINING YOUR VISION
So, given that following your dream is going to be uncomfortable how do you move forward? How do you give yourself permission and also do the work?
In my experience and looking at others who have a successfully launched projects, one key aspect to giving one’s self permission and doing the work is defining a vision.
This is not the picking out images and putting them on the wall type of vision I’m referring to. It is the looking deep inside of you and figuring out what is really motivating you, sometimes known as finding ‘your why.’
In researching artists and social businesses, all doing hard things, I never heard stories of someone saying, “I had this idea, everything came together like magic, it worked, and I'm very happy.”
Big ideas don’t work that way. And in a way that is a good thing as that seems like a recipe for boredom. We humans like challenge.
Starting a big idea gives us an opportunity to go through a lot of challenges. These challenges provide us a lot of opportunities to be creative.
Challenges can also unground us, make us question if we made the right decisions, and maybe even wonder if we made a good decision in starting this venture in the first place.
VISION AS GUIDANCE
Having a vision gives us a safe space to return to.
Your vision statement reminds you why you started down this path and what is at stake for you, your audience and the world.
In 2019 I started listening to the Feel Better, Live More Podcast by British general practitioner, television presenter, author, and podcast host doctor Rangan Chatterjee.
At the start of every podcast, he shares his vision statement. It sets the tone for the conversation he is having and lets his listeners know what to expect.
“I believe that all of us have the ability to feel better than we currently do, but getting healthy has become far too complicated. With this podcast, I aim to simplify it. I’m going to be having conversations with some of the most interesting and exciting people both within as well as outside the health space to hopefully inspire you, as well as empower you with simple tips that you can put into practice immediately to transform the way that you feel. I believe that when we are healthier we are happier because when we feel better, we live more.” Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
Your vision statement will give you clarity. And with clarity comes direction, energy and momentum.
Internally, your vision statement helps you feel more confident. It provides guidance when you have to make decisions.
Externally it provides a signpost. People see what value you provide, who benefits from this value and in general, where your work fits in the scope of their interests.
VISION EXERCISES
Here are two steps you can take today to get you closer to a vision statement that empowers you to take action:
Ask yourself: What is your dream? What is it you wish to see come from your efforts in one, five, fifteen years from now? And is there anything about this idea that embarrasses me?
One of the biggest reasons people don’t move forward is fear. Much of the fear holding humans with big ideas back is based on past embarrassments and feeling of shame. The willingness to look at this in itself can lessen shame’s grip on your ability to move forward.Take one step: Identify a step you can take today that you can take to move your idea forward that will take a mere 5 minutes.
Taking a step, no matter how small, breaks the grip of feeling stuck. If you need to write an email, one step can be to create an email draft and add the email address of the recipient you want to write. It can be that small.
If you want more information on how to find your why, let me know and I can share a link to a new 9-minute mini-workshop, “Why Knowing Your Motivation is Key to Describing Your Work.”